Farting In Front Of Your Boyfriend Is The Key To A Great Relationship

Most women spend untold time and effort squeezing their bum cheeks together in a vain attempt to stop men realising that they fart. For the record ladies; we know you do it, and we're ok with it (as long as you don't do it when things are about to get hot and heavy, there are limits you know).

Now even leading women's magazine Cosmopolitan is telling ladies that farting in front of their men will make their relationship stronger. Columnist Jessica Gentile told her readers a pretty scary third-date bowel-related anecdote, which she says brought her and her boyfriend at the time closer together. The story goes something likes this...

"All of a sudden, I felt it seep out of me.

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"I was on the all-important third date with a very cute guy. Things had been going well so far. We went out for dinner and had just returned to his apartment. Then, mid-cuddle, a bout of flatulence I couldn't quite control took hold.

"Startled and embarrassed, I abruptly rushed to the bathroom. I tried to catch my breath and gain my composure, chastising myself for eating the whole burrito, but much to my chagrin, it only got worse. I clogged his toilet. 

"An incident this mortifying can make or break a couple. I was sure this would be the humiliating demise of a potentially blossoming relationship. Instead, the foul odor I produced only brought out the sweetness, compassion, and humor in both of us.

"Seven years later, we got married."

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Despite the fact that she made his apartment smell like the bathroom of a low-budget Mexican restaurant, she claims that it brought them closer together - and I'm not surprised.

I'm not sure that girls realise, but men have to curb all their natural urges to be gross and disgusting when they start dating someone. That moment that you realise the beautiful woman you're dating is actually human, now that's when you can really start to relax and get to know her.

On date nights these goddesses might be preened and manicured to within an inch of their lives - but get them stuffed with spicy food and farting, and you've got a girl that you'd take home to meet your mum (but maybe not on taco night).

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Gentile also goes on to say: "Acknowledging a natural human function is an essential part of life. Crap literally happens. To all of us. If honesty and openness are key components to any healthy relationship, why hide the inevitable?"

Girls, I'm not saying that you should be dropping stink bombs left, right and centre with a guy, I understand that you have manners. However, if one little fart does happen to slip out... blame it on him and laugh it off. He'll probably fall madly in love with you.

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