I’m getting to that age when a lot of my friends who have been in long-term relationships are talking about settling down and having kids. Heck, some of them are already expecting. During this period of gestation, you can expect to see your newsfeed fill up with inspiring quotes about the miracle of life and how childbirth is this awesome experience that will change your life forever. Personally, I don’t buy it.
I don’t buy it because I’ve already experienced the so-called ‘miracle’ of childbirth by watching the birth of a baby giraffe, and it was pretty much the most upsettingly funny thing I’ve ever seen. The newborn just sort of dropped out the back end of its mother in a shower of blood and placenta, and staggered to its hooves, looking confused and mildly embarrassed to be there. Seeing it walk was like watching a gore-soaked basketball player attempt to figure skate, drunk, on all fours.
But while that footage managed to ruin childbirth for me forever, it only made me more intrigued by the habits of these animals. I’m not sure why, considering that it was such a gross sight. Maybe it’s their ungainly clumsiness that makes giraffes so endearing to a fellow klutz. So bearing my fondness for them in mind, you can imagine how excited I was by the prospect of April the giraffe’s lifestream; which has gained a lot of attention online lately.
For those who have missed out on it, in February 2017, the Animal Adventure Park in upstate New York launched a YouTube channel live-stream documenting the pregnancy of April the giraffe, who ironically gave birth early in April. More than 1.2 million people watched her give birth to her calf, and within 48 hours, the video of the birth boasted 14 million views and 1,200 comments on YouTube.
The adventure park also shared an Instagram post of the mother and child together which was seen by thousands of ardent giraffe enthusiast. However, it appears that April herself is somewhat ambivalent about the attention her offspring is receiving from the rest of the world, it’s already clear that she’s a very protective mother who’s not shy about getting aggressive with potential threats to her baby, as one unfortunate vet learned to his peril.
The unlucky medic can be seen in the following video attempting to give the baby some food, which April obviously found suspicious. Thus, the postnatal giraffe decided to stake out her physical boundaries by delivering the vet a swift kick in the nuts. Yikes! Right in the stones!
Animal Adventure Park has already launched a poll to try and name the baby giraffe, and typically the biggest suggestion so far has been “Giraffe McGiraffeface.” Wow: how original. Personally, I think sticking with an established theme is best. Maybe a name like “March” or “August” to compliment April would be a good idea. But that’s just my personal preference. If you’re interested in keeping up with April and her as-yet-unnamed baby, then you can watch the live-stream here.