The year is almost over and for many people that’s a cause for celebration in itself. It’s been a bitter year for a lot of people and so on December 31, we’ll all trudge to an overpriced street party or cram ourselves into a crowded bar thronging with bawdy, drunken strangers, and proceed to get absolutely plastered. New Year’s Eve is normally the one night of the year where everyone on the planet is off work and we’re socially obliged to drink until we either fall over, puke, or fall over and puke.
The thing is, we could all avoid all this headache and hassle this year and have a chilled, mellow evening. Don’t bother going out. Don’t bother drinking yourself into the toilet bowl. Don’t bother having a sit-down-in-the-shower-hangover the next day. Stay in this New Year’s Eve.
I know you’re thinking it sounds boring. Everyone else will be getting wasted. But do we really have to go out and get smashed precisely because everyone else is doing it? If I want to party, I’ll do it on my own terms – not for conformity’s sake. So with this in mind, here is the lazy person’s guide to the perfect New Year’s Eve.
1. Do what you want to do when you want to do it
New Year’s Eve is planned to a strict schedule. You’ve got to get to pre-drinks then be ready for the taxi on time, make sure you’ve got your tickets ready, get into the club before the line gets out of hand blah blah blah blah blah. A party that’s been planned to death is just an ordeal with dip. When you’re at home and your friends are dashing into taxis or fighting to the bar before last orders, take solace in the fact that you can do whatever you please.
2. Have a few drinks (but not too many)
I enjoy a few drinks (and a few more after that) as much as the next slob. New Year’s Eve is meant to be a time of reminiscence, it’s about looking back with introspection and deciding how to move forward. If you’ve got any new year’s resolutions planned, the perennial dilemma remains. Do you start from midnight or from when I wake up on the first? In fact, considering that you’ll wake up covered in vomit with a splitting migraine, perhaps it’s best to either do away with the new year’s resolution or instead, pour yourself a glass of your favourite tipple and have a nice, warm cosy night in.
3. Eat some quality food
No celebration is complete without something delicious to scoff. After all, in a few hours it will be time for all of us to try half-heartedly to give things up. You’ll have week after gruelling week of consuming less cake, coffee and beer, and trying to go to the gym. While you still have the chance, indulge. Eat whatever you want, just don’t skip dessert.
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4. Get nice and cosy
Call me sad if you want, but I’ll be waking up the next morning with a plate of pancakes and a smile on my face. There’s no shame in a bit of moderation. My advice for the perfect night in is to have something to watch. Could be a favourite movie, or the celebrations on the TV, or even just the fireworks bursting and popping overhead. Find your fluffiest socks, put the fire on – or turn your radiator up – and get cosy.
5. Let other people know you’re taking it easy
If you think the idea’s appealing then take my advice: when your friends and family ask you what you’re doing this year, just tell them that you’re staying in. Tell them you’re feeling fine but that you’d rather chill. You might get some overreactions or incredulous looks, but stick to your guns and you’ll be living the high life at home while your friends sing auld lang syne…
Finally, reflect and contemplate…
The most important aspect of a New Year’s Eve night in is that you have a moment to yourself to digest the events last year with a clear head. After all, getting to the new year is an achievement. You’ve made it. 2016. It was a rough one but you’ve pulled through, and now you’ve got a season of change to look forward to. Of course, if you’d rather party hard then don’t let me stop you, so don’t bother trying keeping the noise down. Quiet or loud, whatever you choose, I wish you a very happy new year. Should auld acquaintance be forgot…