Relationships are never easy – we all know that. When you’re in a relationship, you can’t just be thinking about your own needs, you have to contend with the fact that compromise is the only way to ensure that your relationship will thrive.
Unfortunately, humans are inherently selfish beings, and so it can be difficult to sacrifice certain things for the greater good of your relationship.
Many people don’t work hard enough at ensuring they do everything they can to keep their relationship from breaking down. And ultimately we have to accept that sometimes we, ourselves, are the ones to blame.
So without further ado, here are some handy pointers to show you where you may be going wrong in your relationship:
1. You leave all the work to your other half
If you’re constantly asking your partner to do things for you, without doing much for them in return, you’re definitely taking advantage of them. It takes two to tango and putting enough effort in is a two-way street.
2. Your immediate answer is always ‘no’
If your go-to answer for every little thing is consistently a ‘no’, you’re instantly creating a negative vibe in your relationship. This will create a wedge between you and your partner and if you carry on this behavior for long enough that wedge may end up being indestructible.
3. Your partner is wary of being honest with you
If your partner is hiding things from you or not telling you certain things because they’re scared that you will get mad, you’re probably the problem. Reacting with fits of rage is not the right way to respond to anything. Your partner should feel free to tell you pretty much anything without being worried that they’ll somehow be reprimanded for it.
If you have issues keeping your anger under wraps, you may want to check out this video to learn a few tips for doing just that:
4. You constantly complain about your relationship with your friends
Honesty is usually always the best policy in a relationship. You should be upfront with your partner about things you don’t like rather than offloading all your problems on to your friends. This will only cause you to start resenting your other half because you’ve created the kind of environment whereby you cannot tell them when something’s bugging you.
5. You’re constantly trying to change your partner but refuse to change yourself
Of course, it would be lovely to live in a world where we could always love our partners unconditionally, however, this simply isn’t the case At least not when you’re past the infatuation stage of the relationship.
Sometimes there are things you would like to change about your partner, but if you’re asking them to change almost every facet of their personality, you should really be asking yourself why you’re even with them in the first place. Also, relationships are about compromise, if your partner is changing to meet your needs, you should be doing the same.
6. You refuse to talk about your feelings
The power of communication in a relationship should never be underestimated. It’s extremely important to talk about what you’re feeling or what you’re going through with your other half. They’re not mind-readers and they need to know if you’re feeling down so that they can either give you the space you need or provide you with comfort.
7. You refuse to let things go
If you keep on bringing up issues from the past that no longer affect your relationship, you’re probably being unfairly bitter. Or perhaps you’re doing it out of insecurity because you fear that certain issues from the past will come back to haunt your relationship in the future. However, you need to learn to move on or you’ll just end up resenting your partner or they’ll end up resenting you.
8. You thrive off of drama
You’re just creating your own problems if you insist on bringing drama into the relationship simply because it’s a source of entertainment for you. Creating drama in your relationship is not the same as heightening the passion. And if you scream and shout at your partner it doesn’t make your feelings for them any stronger or their feelings for you.
9. You’re excessively clingy
Everyone wants to feel desired and wanted by their partner but it is possible to receive this in excess. When you love someone a lot and fear that they will leave you, you could end up being clingy. You might keep tabs on what they’re doing, you may express disapproval whenever they go for a night out without you or you might directly tell them you don’t like them associating with certain people. If you do these things, you’re being controlling and your relationship will not last.
10. You never say you’re sorry when you should
You should always take responsibility for your actions. Never be too proud to admit when you’ve done or said something you shouldn’t have. No one is perfect and apologizing for any wrongdoings you may have committed will only increase the respect your partner has for you.
11. You belittle your partner
If you have your own insecurities, you may thrive off of making your partner feel small. But there’s a very fine line between a bit of friendly banter and actively belittling someone. You should know your partner well enough to know where to draw the line.
Ultimately, relationships require a lot of work and if you’re not willing to put in the effort, then it is doomed to fail.
If you are willing to go the extra mile than we encourage you to avoid the behaviors included on this list; it could potentially save your relationship.