I Reviewed The KFC-Themed Romantic Novella And It’s Utterly Insane

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when I mention KFC? Fried chicken? Clogged arteries? The US state of Kentucky? Deeply sensual romantic encounters? …Wait, what? What was that last thing? What is wrong with you? If you’ve been banned for life from several of your local fried chicken restaurants for indecent exposure, no psychiatric professional may be able to help you, but KFC have got your back with this utterly insane novella that simply should not be.

How does a book like this come to be? I like to imagine a group of marketing executives coming together at the KFC headquarters in Louisville, Kentucky, to work out how to boost sales for Mother's Day. Somewhere along the line, someone suggested a sexy novella with KFC figurehead Colonel Sanders as the main character, and not only was that person not fired and/or arrested, but everyone thought it was a good enough idea to act on, and now you can get KFC-approved romantic fiction on Amazon's Kindle.

As we speak, Tender Wings of Desire sits in my Kindle library. I paid money for it, and for better or for worse, you can be damned sure I was going to read it. As it was for Mother’s Day, I did ask the woman who brought me into this strange, unforgiving world if she wanted me to read her a KFC-themed love story, but as a staunch Jehovah's Witness, she looked me right in the eyes, and for a second, I think she stopped loving me.

So, I read it myself. I consider myself to be an avid reader, but I’ve so far avoided romance novels. Until now. If you were wondering what KFC-themed romance would be like but also wanted to stay off several government watch lists, I’ve taken the plunge for you. Here’s my review for Tender Wings of Desire, and if a SWAT team is closing in on my position as we speak, I’ve got one thing to say: I'm really sorry.


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