There’s this whole perception about pregnancy that it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. That a woman carrying a child has a natural glow about them. That their maternal instinct just goes through the roof. That for nine months, they’re in a state of eager anticipation. And that is somewhat true; the “anticipation” is unreal. But what a lot of people don’t know is that the thing pregnant ladies are anticipating most is simply for the pregnancy to be over.
It’s not a fun process – it’s laborious, it’s stressful and it’s totally overwhelming. Of course, there are plenty of incredible highlights. Like the first time your baby kicks and just knowing that you’re carrying your own flesh and blood inside of you. But man, there are some insane drawbacks.
And when you get to a certain point in your pregnancy, you feel like you’re literally ready to burst. In fact, it seems insane to you that the kid hasn’t come out yet because you couldn’t be any more pregnant than you are now.
And I’ll admit that I haven’t yet experienced pregnancy firsthand, so I’m not exactly the most reliable source. But I have collated a list of 21 pregnant women who know exactly what it’s like and are just bursting to get that baby out.
1. Whoever smelt it, dealt it
When you’re so pregnant that your personal hygiene standards slip ever so slightly…
2. “This is what remains of my delicious, 100% UNSIPPED sweet tea…”
If pregnancy is so great and magical, why does everything turn to absolute s**t?
3. You never deprive a woman of her hot Cheetos puffs with lime – it’s like, the law
And more fool you if you think she’ll just make do with the other flavors…
4. The ultimate pregnancy dilemma
Nothing ever fits anymore. Like literally nothing.
5. All she wanted was to stuff her face with the most sugary snack she could find…
That’s literally all she wanted, and now Tim Horton’s has ruined it.
6. It’s not just your belly that gets bigger!
Damn, that’s gotta hurt.
7. When you’re so helplessly pregnant you can’t even tie your own shoelaces
Pregnancy has reached a whole new low.
8. Not the most elegant accessory in the history of fashion
The lengths you have to go to all because you’ve got a baby growing inside you.
9. You do not make jokes when a woman is going into labor
You just don’t know how they’re gonna react.
10. Nooo, not the pickles! Anything but the pickles!
She could so easily have devoured the whole thing in minutes.
11. Did you know that when you’re pregnant, your entire brain turns to mush?
Well, now you know. And the results ain’t always pretty.
12. When you’re so pregnant that you can’t fit back into your own car…
“I have never been sooo mad. This person parked so close to me I had to climb across my passenger seat. So I left them a nice little note. ”
13. When you’re so knocked up, you’re bursting at the seams with emotion
Yeah, it wasn’t your best idea, Courtney.
14. All she wanted was a bath, goddamn it!
And you couldn’t even give her that…
15. Okay, so this woman is literally bursting at the seams
Erm, is this kid finally going to come out, or am I…?
16. Normally pregnant women get first pick of the seats. This lady, however, was so knocked up they wouldn’t let her fly with them…
“Being pregnant is a privilege,” they said. Yeah right…
17. “Note: pregnant woman can get on a hammock, but cannot get off.”
She was stuck there for quite a while.
18. “This is the face of a35-weekk pregnant lady who bought a robe in her regular size thinking there would be enough stretch for the belly. I was wrong..”
It’s going to be a few months before that fits again!
19. When you’re so pregnant, you start losing brain cells
Okay, so I don’t think that’s entirely scientifically accurate…
20. I don’t think this was the best time to be taking selfies
And by the look on her face, neither does this lady.
21. When you’re so pregnant that you’re too afraid to sneeze
Who knows what could end up popping out?
So there we have it: pregnancy can be a right pain in the fat pregnant ass, especially toward the end of it. But in all seriousness, it’s also undeniably beautiful and I can’t wait to go through it one day.