1. *10 seconds after being told not to touch the cinnamon rolls*
2. Hey! Hey! I have something to tell you…
3. What was that? You just hit a triple word score?
4. Get that thumb out of my face, Jason
5. That should be enough space for you, right?
6. That presentation is due tomorrow, right?
7. We eat pizza when I say we eat pizza
8. OK NOW WE CAN EAT PIZZA… ahh too slow
9. Please, woman
10. Canceling Christmas before it even begins
11. Just say ‘uncle’… Ha just kidding, I’m not gonna stop
12. And the World Card Stacking Championship Title goes too…
13. Trying to have a nice dinner party? Ok I’ll just post up here
14. Don’t even think about making yourself dinner before you make mine
15. Sorry, this is a one pet household now. Best of luck on your endeavors
16. When you drop cash on a shark-themed cat bed but he prefers the box it came in
17. You’ve been looking a little chubby… are you sure you need the extra kibble?
18. When your owners lovingly throw you a 5th birthday party
19. The day before the new season of Game of Thrones comes out
20. And yet another Christmas is ruined
21. “Yay! First catch of the day!”
At this point it is abundantly clear that cats are sinister creatures, intelligent enough to understand what you want from them, but diabolical enough to almost always do the exact opposite. Have you ever seen a dog look a human being in the eye and then slap them across the face with no remorse? No, you haven’t, because THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN. Don’t get me wrong, this is not an argument against having cats as pets. They are clearly intelligent, and usually extremely cute (another trait they use to their advantage). You just need to know before you adopt one exactly what you’re getting yourself into. And don’t worry, although at times it may not seem like it, science just proved that cats want to hang out with you just as much as dogs do.