It might be tempting to think of sexuality as a binary or ternary definition; you’re either into men, into women, or both. The truth is though, that human sexuality is on a spectrum; you might be into women one day and men the other. Even if you’re a heterosexual man and comfortable with your sexuality, there might be a point in your life where you wonder: what if you’re into men as well?
To answer this rather interesting question, Buzzfeed sought out straight men in their community who, to paraphrase Katy Perry, kissed a man and liked it. These guys are all straight, but at one point in their lives, they decided to change things up, and for one reason or another, had a pretty great sexual experience with another man. All these men went back to women thereafter, but they all learned something about themselves in the process. Maybe by reading about their experiences, you can too.
The following stories contain material of an explicit sexual nature
1. Finding some leeway for a threeway
“A guy once gave me his number out of the blue at a restaurant. A few weeks later I was bored and horny (and a little stoned) so I called him. He invited me over to his place to watch porn with him and his roommate. It wasn’t long before we were all in bed having a threesome. I’m happily married to a woman now, but I’m glad I did that back then. It was fun and it felt good. You don’t have to be gay to enjoy playing with a d**k at some point!”
2. This gentleman found some clarity in a weird place
“I was in a weird place after a messy breakup with a long-term girlfriend when I was about 24. I don’t really know how or why I started, but I began watching and getting off to gay porn. The thing is, outside of watching porn, I don’t find men attractive at all. I have never checked out or noticed another man in a real-life situation, but I can completely fantasize about it if I’m watching gay porn.
So after a few months of regularly getting off to gay porn I decided to seek out an opportunity to experiment and met with a guy in a parking lot of a local store. We went for a short drive and talked for a few minutes and I started backing out so he took me back to my car. We pulled up beside my car and he gave a last shot at keeping things going and asked if I just wanted to try holding his d**k, and I agreed. He took it out and I started giving him a hand job, which lasted about a minute before I just went for it and started blowing him. I blew him for a few minutes in his car and then we decided I’d jump in my car and follow him back to his place just a few minutes away. We got to his house and I got back to sucking his d**k on his couch, and he got my shorts off and rubbed my d**k some while I blew him.
After a few minutes he wanted to switch and go down on me, that’s when everything sort of hit. He was really excited to blow me, but I wasn’t the least bit hard and nothing he was doing was making it happen. I was just over it at this point — told him I was sorry but I needed to go, and bailed quickly. I felt bad ditching the guy. He seemed nice enough, but I had my moment of experimentation and realized it wasn’t what I was into.”
3. If he’s a great guy, then why not give it a go?
“I met a friend of a friend who was somehow into me. I was single and 23 at the time and selfishly thought, ‘Welp, somebody thinks you’re funny and attractive, you’d totally do Chris Hemsworth, why not give it a go?’ He was a super great guy, we had a lot in common and enjoyed each other’s company, and we unofficially dated for about a month or two. Fooling around with him was fun, but when it came down to actual *sex* sex (I’d top and he’d bottom), I wasn’t as nearly attracted to it as I am with women. I distanced myself without officially breaking up, and I never heard from him again.”
4. Ulterior motives turned genuine
“I was at a typical high school party in sophomore year and my best friend Matt and I were egging on some girls to make out. They told us that we have to first if we want them to, so being close bros and all, we started to make out. More girls started looking and were actually getting quite turned on so we started getting more into it because we knew if we give it our all we’ll get something better after. The reward afterwards was totally worth it!
“We’re still the best of friends, and I’m still straight but he’s bi (not sure if it’s something he realized after this event and I don’t want to ask). We just laugh it off as a good story now.”
5. Whiskey is truly an ice-breaker
“My first hookup with a guy was a few years ago with a guy I met on Whisper. I’d been curious for a while before this happened. He identifies as gay. We drank some whiskey and one thing led to another and we ended up sucking each other’s d**ks and making out for a while.“
(26/Male/Identify as straight)
6. What’s a good friendship without a mutual jerk session?
“I considered myself totally hetero at the time. I was hanging out with my BFF since fourth grade, who’s gay. We were probably both 19 or so. On two occasions, we put on some porn, starting masturbating, then gave each other (very excellent) hand jobs. I enjoyed the hell out of it until he came, and was freaked out/grossed out by encountering another dude’s semen. I never even considered getting involved with another guy for years after, and am happily married to a woman. But as I’ve gotten older and shed some cultural baggage, I’ve allowed myself to be attracted to men, and would totally date/sleep with the right guy. It was a very positive experience; I learned a lot about myself and LGBT issues, and the guy is still my BFF.”
(32/Cismale/Somewhere between straight and queer)
7. Sometimes, hooking up with a guy is just easier
“I had been curious about my sexual preference for a while, but I was a FratBro so there was no way I was gonna do it for fear of someone finding out. So once I went to grad school in another state, it seemed like the perfect time. I downloaded Grindr and had quite a few hookups. I eventually realized that I was doing all these anonymous hookups out of physical attractions and mostly boredom. Hooking up with guys is a lot easier than girls. Now I consider myself straight and looking for the right girl with the occasional guy hookup when I’m bored.”
8. What’s a good friendship without a mutual jerk session? (Part two)
“When I was in middle school, a friend and I used to ‘experiment’ when one of us would spend the night. Nothing ever went too far, typically just masturbating together and occasionally jerking each other off. He was the one who initiated it; it came about as a truth or dare game. I was hesitant at first but eventually came around. It was fun but nothing that I would do anymore.”
9. A bad experience in the woods
“I was 18 and just lost my virginity to a girl. I had always wondered if I was actually gay, so I started looking at both genders on Tinder. I matched with a 22-year-old guy and we ended up having sex in the woods near his house. He was actually really strange and I didn’t feel comfortable about it at all. I’ve hooked up and had sex with other guys since then, but always in a period of severe loneliness. I’m not really sure I’m gay, but I’m probably not entirely straight either. Looking back on it, I don’t regret all of my male sexual experiences, but the first one has always left me feeling a bit disgusted with myself.”
(20/Male/Most likely straight)
10. Taking the party upstairs
“During my second semester in college, I ended up moving out of the dorms and into the apartment of a friend I had from a fraternity I was in. I kind of sensed that he was attracted to me, but I never paid any mind to it. Everyone was pretty sure he was gay, but none of that mattered. I myself was known for sleeping around, and I was in an on-and-off relationship, but never considered myself gay. One night, we had a small party at our place, with people coming and going all night. Things got wild, and I ended up trashed. Everyone did. Everyone ended up leaving, and I went to my room to wind down. My roommate ended up stumbling into my room and landed on my bed. I just laid there and blew it off. He started getting handsy, and I immediately knew where this was going. He told me to relax, and I was pretty horny anyways. He ended up giving me a blowjob, and it was completely mind-blowing. We ended up doing things the rest of the time I lived with him. I eventually reciprocated, but we never did anything aside from oral or masturbation. Looking back, I have no regrets about any of it. I don’t think it defined my sexuality, because I still identify as straight. It was a good experience, and I wouldn’t change anything.”
11. Everyone remembers their first time
“When I was 13, one of my best friends told me he was bi. Later that night at his house, we were watching a movie and he started playing with my crotch with his feet, and ended up unzipping my pants. He asked if he could give me a blowjob and I said sure. He did, but I couldn’t give one to him because it was too weird for me at the time. That was my first sexual experience in general, let alone man-on-man experience. I didn’t end up having sex with a girl until I was 18, five years after that gay experience.“
12. Talk about a ride home
“One of my high school best friends is gay. One time I gave him a ride home and he jokingly said, ‘I’d offer to blow you but my tits are in the shop.’ I was 18 and probably just hearing ‘tits’ was enough to get me hard. So I unzipped my pants and took my d**k out kind of joking, kind of not. He started sucking and I kept driving until we got close to his house and he told me to pull over and I blew my load in his mouth and then he said he was going to eat my ass. He got out of the car, walked around to the driver’s side and opened my door. I got out and leaned onto my car and he ate my ass for a long time. This was on a suburban cul de sac (he loves puns so maybe that was part of his plan). Anyway it was unreal. It felt so good my legs were shaking. I kinda came again but there wasn’t much and he said ‘you don’t have any more for me?’ And I thought that was so hot that someone wanted my c*m that much. I finished driving him home and stayed up all night kind of grossed out, but not? Also I’m embarrassed to admit I worried about AIDS. I was so nervous to see him at school. But he claimed not to remember anything ’cause he was drunk. He wasn’t that drunk though. Nothing like that has happened since. We’re still friends; he’ll be a groomsman in my wedding next year. No girl has ever offered to eat my ass. I’ve met a few of his boyfriends and wonder if my d**k is bigger than theirs. This all makes me sound pretty gay but I’m really not.”
13. Best friends forever
“We were friends that had known each other since first grade. About the time we were 10 or 11, we changed in front of each other and started to compare body parts. The two of us comparing body parts continued to grow, and as we grew into our adolescent years we began feeling each other, experimented with hand jobs, blow jobs, and we ended up going all the way. We were each other’s firsts for everything sexually speaking, and it started out as just being curious and figuring out what felt good sexually. My friend and I still remain friends to this day. While we were experimenting, we would both talk about what we were doing with each other, and say that we both liked girls and didn’t feel gay, but we were confused about why we would always do homosexual things with each other. He was the only guy I have ever hooked up with, and as far as I know, I was the only dude he’s hooked up with. The sexual things we did together stopped soon after high school, and we haven’t brought it up since.”
14. This guy had more than his mind blown
“Me and my friends were out at the pub last Wednesday, and we miiiiight have drank a bit too much. One thing led to another and we were talking about how long it had been since each of us had sex. We joked about giving each other blowjobs, and one of my friends happened to be gay. He leaned over and whispered he was going to give me the best blowjob of my life. Because I was so drunk, we went to the bathroom together. I have to say it was a pretty good blowjob. I thought I was straight. Now I’m not so sure.”
15. Man about town
“It was just a random hookup with a guy I met in town. It was purely just for fun and for a different experience. I don’t really think much about it now. It took me a while to tell anyone about it but now I’m quite open and comfortable with my sexuality.”
16. “Gay autopilot”
“For me it happens spontaneously when stressed. I go through most of my life not even considering gay sex, then I get some kind of stress, usually work-related. Next thing I know I’m literally bumping into guys cruising for sex and I’m almost on gay autopilot. Afterwards I usually feel less stressed but guilty as well.”
17. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back
“I’ve never been attracted to men, but I was curious for a long time about what it’d be like to play with another person’s c**k. Eventually I ended up visiting a gay spa and sucking off some random guy through a gloryhole. I think my strongest memories were of being surprised at how warm his c**k was and how strongly I could feel his pulse through it. I also had variations of ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this’ running through my head for most of the time, but that just made it better in a strange way. Basically, it was a fun experience. It didn’t teach me anything about my sexuality that I didn’t already know, but it certainly satisfied my curiosity.”
18. A daring encounter
“I hook up with girls, mostly. I’m straight and proud, just a little curious…but then again, isn’t everyone? It happened two years ago, at the cliché setting of a frat party. Half drunk, half sober, and fully turned on. I’d known the guy since sophomore year of high school, and didn’t think much if it at the time. A dumb kiss and a little grinding, just guys having fun and occupying another while bored. My (now ex) girlfriend had ditched me, and I was left with him and a few friends. It wasn’t my first party, but I felt as if it was. I spent most of the night eating candy from the snack table, and drinking an odd mix of three different liquors. We were close, used to one another, and we wanted to get rid of our boredom, so dancing together wasn’t a big s**t of a deal. A group of girls said we were hot together, so we kissed. And it actually affected me more than I thought it would. Before I knew it we were going down on each other in my poor pal’s room. I regret messing up the bedroom, not having sex. I never regret sex. And hey, he got me off right?”
19. An enlightening friendship
“My best friend lived with me for a time when we were 14. We shared a room and one day he got out of the shower and walked around the room totally naked and didn’t seem to think it was awkward. Later that night when I took a shower I did the same thing. We were both pretty fit for 14 year olds since we both swam competitively. At that point I really realized I was attracted to guys. That night we fooled around and made out and eventually more. I’ve hooked up with a few guys in between relationships — even friends — since then, but entirely for sex.”
20. Those are some “Wicked” seduction skills
“Four years ago, my best friend and I were hanging in my house and playing Borderlands. I had recently read online about the ‘I have a CRUSH on you’ achievement, and thought it would be easy enough to do. When I asked him to help me with it, he turned a vibrant shade of red. After teasing him a little, I asked him if something was wrong. He then not only came out to me, but confessed that he had a crush on me. I was a little shocked, but I told him, ‘Wow. One: I should have known, considering you have the entire musical Wicked memorized. Two: You really have poor taste in men.’ He playfully pushed me over and straddled me, saying ‘While both are true, remember I’m the same guy; I can still kick your scrawny ass.’ We laughed, until I realized we were making d**k-to-d**k contact through our athletic shorts. I got hard, he got hard, we both got hella embarrassed. He took a deep breath, leaned in and started singing a song I now know as ‘Dead Girl Walking.’ When I tried to squirm away he leaned in and kissed me. After the kiss, and once he got to a particular line, ‘I’ve decided I must ride you till I break you,’ I realized how sexual the situation could be. I sat up, realized that it could be fun, and said ‘F**k it,’ and we went at it. Let’s just say he meant what he sang. We messed around occasionally until we graduated, and then went our separate ways. I sometimes wish I still could — he was honestly better in bed in every way than my current girlfriend.”
It’s more than OK to be gay. While most of men’s locker room talk might revolve around your sexuality, with the word “gay” being something of an insult in some social circles, it’s important that everybody’s true to themselves. Having a gay experience doesn’t necessarily make you gay. And if it does lead you to realise you prefer the same sex, more power to you.