Every once in a while you might come across a t-shirt in Urban Outfitters or Topshop, only to check the price tag and wonder, ‘why does this strangely weathered and otherwise uninspiring cotton shirt cost $60?’ The material is nothing special, there’s no intricate design, and there seems to have been no special handwork put into it… surely nobody would actually buy this, right?
Wrong. People do buy that t-shirt, and they even buy ones that are much more pricey. The nature of the high-end fashion world is one of exclusivity and, often, grand displays of wealth. The hype around donning a brand-name has grown enough that these companies are now capable of selling the most underwhelming items for a ludicrous price, and we honestly can’t wrap our heads around it. So behold, 18 of the most ridiculously overpriced t-shirts you will ever see:
18. Valentino, $638
For this low price, you can be on the receiving end of “have you guys seen Dave?” and “where’d he go?” jokes for all of eternity
17. Gucci, $666
For only $500 more, they’ll throw in the Sherlock Holmes hat and Harry Potter glasses!
16. Valentino, $734
Only $734 to look like you’re wearing cargo shorts on your torso? What a steal!
15. Alexander McQueen, $750
The beading is impressive, but doesn’t a grunge and anti-establishment icon like a skull being retailed to the rich and famous seem a bit ironic?
14. Label Under Construction, $766
When people tell you you’re crazy for buying this plain black t-shirt for $766 you can snap back with, “It’s a silk and cashmere blend, okay mom?!”
13. Moschino, $846
This is just a silly one. The person who buys this is paper bag-inspired shirt is clearly just spending someone else’s money as revenge
12. Armani, $850
Nobody should be buying a flesh-colored t-shirt to begin with, but this price tag brings this shirt to new heights of absurdity
11. Emporio Armani, $977
This looks like an 8th grader’s experimental phase with photography blown up and printed onto a t-shirt
10. Versace, $981
To be fair, this is a wicked design. But $1,000 could buy around 140 Chipotle burritos, so you decide what’s more valuable
9. Balmain, $1,009
This shirt looks like it was either found by a pack of rabid raccoons or taken from the set of Mean Girls
8. Valentino, $1,107
If I wanted to spend one thousand dollars to be covered in bugs I could’ve just gone glamping (or glamorous camping, for the ill informed)
7. Dolce & Gabbana, $1,144
Oh wow. Now that’s an outfit
6. Gucci, $1,191
Forever 21 would sell you about a million cat-related t-shirts for this price
5. Valentino, $1,471
Just in time for the new Game of Thrones season, perhaps?
4. Versace, $1,543
Considering the price, I genuinely hope that is real gold
3. Balmain, $1,649
Ok, this one is embellished with crystals, but it still looks like the shirt I bought from Limited Too when I was ten years old that had “DIVA” bedazzled onto it
2. Givenchy, $2,093
A perfect gift for someone who enjoys sweating and chafing in stiff leather t-shirts all day!
1. Brunello Cucinelli, $2,425
And for the low price of (multiple) months rent, you can look like a real-life Charlie Brown
Let’s be honest, we can make fun of the people who buy these shirts all we want, but I’d personally love to be in a position to buy one of these one day. I just truly hope that my inner sanity would kick in if I even thought about dropping that amount of cash on a tee, and I’d remember my humble beginnings. For now, I’ll just keep on ignoring the unidentified stains on the only size-medium shirt left in the sales section of H&M.