It’s often said that we live in a pornified culture and that’s why so many men perform badly in the sack. Unfortunately, when the majority of men are growing up, they get their sex education from X-rated material which creates the illusion that pleasing a woman is easy.
The adult entertainment industry has convinced men that all they have to do to get a woman off is penetrate her. Foreplay rarely comes into the equation (which is why so many women prefer girl-on-girl action) and sex ends as soon as a man has blown his creamy load.
Check out the video below where one woman explains how to be good in bed:
In fact, straight women have the fewest number of orgasms compared to those of other genders and sexualities. This isn’t because it’s impossibly difficult to make a woman’s vagina turn into a shooting star, it’s because so many men don’t know what they are doing.
If you’re a straight man reading this and you’re now worrying about how you measure up in bed, do not fret. Now 15 women have opened up on Reddit about what it is that makes a man great in bed. So pay close attention, and if your technique is lacking, try to up your game.
1. Foreplay is the key to pleasuring a lady
“He has to legitimately enjoy foreplay. If he knows how to eat p***y (and enjoys it), is a good kisser and is confident, he will be a good lay. Also please make some noise – there is nothing more boring/frustrating than sex with a guy who doesn’t moan or groan or anything. Let me know you’re enjoying it, damn it!” -iamathrowawayhooray
2. Speaking as a woman who sleeps with men, this is all kinds of yes!
“One of the sexiest things ever is to be teased. Draw out the foreplay and tease her, with your tongue and your fingers, and later on with the head of your penis, long before you actually penetrate her. If you stimulate her enough beforehand, she’ll be aching for you by the time you enter her.
“That’s the best feeling ever, when my guy winds me up so tight with just his fingers or his tongue and then slowly sinks himself into me. Sometimes I almost come right away just from finally feeling him inside me, because he’s built it up that much beforehand. Take your time.” -iheartmaggie
3. Listen carefully to the woman you’re sleeping with
“If I show or tell you what to do and what not to do, don’t forget it 4 seconds later.” -whore_o_scope
One of the worst things that can happen to women who sleep with men who are bad in bed is that they blame them for not getting off on the experience instead of assessing their own technique. Masturbation is no longer the taboo that it once was; the vast majority of women know what it takes to make them climax and are happy to pass on this information to their partners. So there really is no excuse!
4. It’s important to know when you’re doing a good job
“Plenty of experience and the ability to read a woman’s body language and listen to what she says (nothing worse than a guy who thinks he knows more about what I want or need than I do). Confidence is good – but only if it is earned through experience, otherwise, it is arrogance, and the arrogant dude is crap in bed. Amazing cunnilingus skills. The willingness to let me be in charge about half the time. Creativity and a strong desire not to fall into dull routine.” -Throbbing-Clitoris
5. Make the woman feel like she’s a priority
“I love it when he makes me feel like I’m the only one who is on his mind right now (no matter what he really thinks about me).” -princess-in-disguise
6. If nothing else, make sure you get your woman ice cream
“He makes noise, likes kissing, forceful (to an extent; some chicks like the rough stuff), gets me ice cream after.” -fancifulhamster22
Sex is an important part of a relationship, and if you’re unable to please your woman, over time, it can become extremely frustrating for her – no matter how good your personality is. Getting down and dirty helps release chemicals in the brain that increase attraction (and love), and, without a good sex life, you and your partner are essentially going to be nothing more than good friends.
7. Let your woman know you’re enjoying yourself
“Enthusiasm and having fun! Sex is supposed to be a good time.” -licktapus
8. Take your time
“I want him to take time with every part of the process. I love having it drawn out and focusing on the feeling of just one aspect of foreplay for a while before moving on to something else. Drawing out foreplay makes me feel amazing…like the guy is truly enjoying my body and enjoying being with me rather than just trying to get off.” -JessicaB224
9. Sometimes it can be about what you say
“Dirty talk.” -cyborg_poodle
On the subject of dirty talk, it’s a good idea to ask the woman you’re sleeping with if it’s something she’s into before the act begins. While it’s definitely a turn on for a lot of people, if it happens unexpectedly, it can really put the woman you’re sleeping with off if you start to call her a “sl*t” and it’s something she’s not into. At the end of the day, good sex is really is about skill, patience, and communication!
10. Sex is a marathon, not a sprint
“A willingness to go slow. A dude that wants 17 positions, both way oral, ass play, AND tying up at the first sexual encounter is not for me. I need to go a bit slower than all that.” -SadWalrus_
11. For some women, bigger really is better
“Communication, playfulness, patience.”
“I won’t lie, a big one doesn’t hurt either. Well it does, but it hurts so good. (Given the choice between a big dick and a guy that can eat p***y like a champ, I’ll go with the latter every single time though, so have faith y’all).” -MissDiagnosisNY
12. This is when massage oil can come in handy
“I love sensualists who take their time exploring every inch of me, and who let me do the same in return. It makes for great sex when you can find ‘spots’ that each of you never even knew you had.” -madscientistlove
A simple sex hack for improving your time in the bedroom is this – invest in some lube. If you’re willing to splash out a little more, massage oils and gels are a good shout too. Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion found that men and women found it easier to orgasm if there was lubricant involved, which is good news if this list has made you feel daunted at the prospect of trying to become a better lay.
13. Your facial expressions can really turn a woman on
“I love when I can see pleasure on the guy’s face.” -JessicaB224
14. A good sense of humor can do wonders
“Sex is a pretty silly activity and somebody will inevitably stumble, fart or look stupid in some other way. It’s nice to have a partner who can laugh with you about things like that instead of being weird and anxious about it.” -Tauchfischstaebchen
15. Make sure you’ve nailed the basics
“You HAVE to be a good kisser. I can’t even stress how important this is. Bad kissing is easiest the biggest turn off for me.” -Deleted user
Sex is one of the best parts of the human experience. It’s what makes the world go around, and if it’s done properly, it can really improve the quality of a relationship. There are so many mediocre experiences in life and sex shouldn’t be one of them. If you’re a man and can please a woman in a way she’s never been pleased before, I can guarantee she’ll do the same thing for you because it really does take two to tango.