Snapchat. You either love or hate it. I’m kinda stuck in between. Looking through recent story updates, I can’t help but roll my eyes and groan (sometimes cringe) at the nonsense I come across. Half the time I don’t even view the stories, I already know what to expect. I guess there’s always the option of deleting the app altogether to avoid the inevitable suffering, but there are times when Snapchat is entertaining.
It’s no doubt that the world of social networking is rapidly evolving, especially with apps that allow people to express themselves and upload whatever they like. Nothing wrong with that; by all means, share away! But just tone it down a little.
I admit, I’m guilty of some of these, as I’m sure most people are…but if you frequently do all 14, you might need to reconsider your actions.
1) The ‘gourmet’ snapper
I get it: your cheeky Nando’s is to die for, but not everyone cares about what you’re eating. Unless it was prepared by Gordon Ramsey, I really don’t want to know.
2) The ‘excessive selfie’ snapper
Understandable if you’re dolled up for a fun night out, but maybe stick to one or two selfies in your story, as opposed to fifteen. Your face is beginning to irritate me now.
3) The unsigned singer
I’m no X Factor judge, but I’m pretty sure you just strained your vocal chords trying to keep up that Beyoncé tune. Spare my ears, please.
4) The gym freak
Constant gym pics can get pretty annoying, even for a personal trainer. Put the weights down for a day or two. Or better yet, just don’t snap it.
5) Toilet snapper
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but when one is doing their ‘business’, isn’t privacy required?
6) Top Gear snapper
While you’re driving over 50mph and trying to keep your camera steady in the name of Snapchat, you just missed that red light. Nice going, twat. Eyes on the road!
7) Shopper snapper
Nice to see you’ve spent over a grand on fabulous clothes. How about sparing me a few shillings?
8) The ‘I’m on holiday and you’re not’ snapper
Thanks a lot. While you’re exploring sandy beaches drinking cocktails and surfing waves, I’m struggling to beat hypothermia. Nice to know somebody’s living life to the fullest.
I’m not there to enjoy the experience, nor do I want to be. If Jesus himself isn’t on the turntables, I’m not interested.
10) Promotional snapper
No, I’m not attending that party. No, I will not download that mixtape. No, your clothing line doesn’t interest me. Yes, I will delete you now. Thanks for wasting my time.
11) The model
Photography skills on point, but I’m sure even Gok Wan would cringe at that outfit. A for effort, though.
12) The snapper who constantly uses time/temperature filters
I own a watch, and BBC weather provides good, accurate service…but thanks.
13) Traffic police
So you’re stuck in traffic. I pity you. Really, I do. But I don’t sympathise. Sorry (not sorry).
14) 100 second snappers
Combining all of the above to make a 100 second Snapchat story is a crime. I’m not gonna let you be that selfish with my life. You’ve earned yourself one less contact.
Feel like you can relate? Maybe try condensing your friends list to make life a little more bearable. But don’t get me wrong, sometimes it can be worthwhile, especially when you view brilliant snapchats like these.