Today is International Happiness Day. It seems pretty weird that we have a day devoted to happiness. As with any occasion like this one, you can bet your boots that social media will be inundated with smug posts about people being cheerful and grateful… and on a Monday, no less!
So if you’re a grumpy person and you’re not in the mood for all this levity, we have some news stories that will definitely cheer you up again. These are the people who haven’t been having such a happy time of it. The people who, through bad luck or their own stupidity, are having a much worse International Happiness Day than you are.
1. The man who had his penis ring removed
A man in Dublin has been saved from having his penis strangulated after enduring a gruelling operation with an angle grinder. After several painful hours with a titanium ring stuck on his penis, the man, (who has not been named), went to Accident and Emergency in Mater University Hospital to have the metal ring removed from his member. His case has now been added to the Irish Medical Journal. It’s unknown what the man did to get the sex toy trapped on his genitals, but surgeons needed 20 minutes and an angle grinder to remove it.
2. The woman whose daughter threw cheeseburgers at her
This week Indianapolis police were called to a McDonald’s to apprehend a 39-year-old woman who was assaulting her mother with cheeseburgers. The police found the 60-year-old woman in the restaurant, covered in ketchup, mustard and pickles. The elderly woman stated that her daughter had been arguing with her and police are now looking for the daughter after she fled the scene in a separate car.
3. The engineer named Saddam Hussain
Unfortunately-named marine engineer Saddam Hussein has fought in court this week to legally change his name to Sajid. The fact that Hussain (almost) shares his name with the late Iraqi dictator means that getting employed has been tricky for him. Hussain has been rejected for over 40 jobs. “People are scared to hire me,” he stated in an interview with the Hindustan Times.
4. The man who flew 4km with helium balloons and a lawn chair
This week Daniel Boria has been fined $265,000 after flying more than four kilometres into the sky above Calgary, Alberta, back in 2015. The 27-year-old was charged with the dangerous operation of an aircraft, after tying over 100 helium balloons to a lawn chair and floating into commercial airspace. Defending his actions, Boria stated: “Why climb the highest mountain? … I chose to fly a chair; not because it is easy but because it is hard. Because that goal served to organise and measure the best of our energies and skills.”