10 Secrets Guys Won’t Tell You About Their Penis

If you ask a guy what his favorite body part is, chances are you already know which one he’s going to pick. But while some guys are very open about their prized penises, there are plenty of things they won’t tell you about them.

Yes, guys have their secrets, too, especially when it comes to their johnsons. Check out the 10 secrets guys won’t tell you about their willies below. You’ll never be able to look at your guy, or his weiner, the same way again!

1. It’s Manscaped

Even if he tells you he’s all natural down there, trust me, he’s not. He’s been trimming, shaping, and shaving to ensure his favorite body part looks its best. Think of it this way, homeowners who are proud of their house landscape their yards and gardens so their home looks its best.

So him doing a bit of manscaping is simply “mowing the lawn”…

2. It Twitches

He can kind of make it twitch and move without using his hands. No crazy spins or dips or anything, but yeah, it moves. (He’ll mainly do this alone in front of a mirror.)

3. He’s Definitely Messed Around With It

While it may not move too much on its own, every guy has totally messed around with his shlong to see how much it CAN move. I’m talking helicoptering in the mirror, tucking and pulling to make a fleshy slingshot and more. Oh, boys and their toys!

Guys can be pretty weird, huh? Want to know even more strange facts about the human penis like how long the biggest one was? Or why some guys can actually be born with two? Check out the video below for all the answers:

Want to know what feels as good as sex? Check out number 4…

4. The Relief Of Peeing After Holding It In Is Amazing!

In fact, it’s almost as good as sex. ALMOST. Maybe a better comparison would be how sinking your teeth into a juicy burger is super satisfying, but then so is ordering a perfectly cooked filet mignon steak at a high-end restaurant. Both are delicious. You get the idea.

5. He Really Does Need To Shake It

As Taylor Swift once said, “Shake it off!” After a guy pees, he really does have to give it a little shake to get any dribbles off. It’s kind of like wiping your mouth after a meal.

6. It Has A Nickname

Even if he says it doesn’t, it definitely does. After all, he and his penis were teenagers once, and just like those old embarrassing Hotmail accounts from 7th grade we all have, he’s for sure got an embarrassing nickname for his junk. [email protected] ring a bell?

7. It Has A Scent

Everyone smells a little different when they sweat, but a guy’s “d*** sweat” is going to smell a bit more unique than the rest of him. There’s not really much he can do about it when he’s sweaty down there. Hey, d*** sweat happens, okay?

But how does he keep it from flopping around? Number 8 will tell you…

8. It Tucks Away

Guys can totally tuck their dongs away for safe keeping. Like when he’s at the gym it might be tucked into his waistband, or perhaps when his jeans are a bit too tight, it may be kept safe and sound in his boxer briefs to avoid any unsightly “d***-prints”.

9. He Has Uncontrollable Boners

Sometimes his schwing-schowng seems like it has a mind of its own. So if your guy suddenly gets a hard-on while watching TV, you don’t have to be too worried he’s going to leave you for Judge Judy.

10. It Changes Size

Okay, so you already know what it looks like erect, but have you ever caught your guy after a cold shower? It’s like it disappeared! His penis hasn’t really vanished, but it may have gotten a wee bit chilly and retreated away for warmth. Dicks are sensitive like that, you know?

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